On July 27th I completed 50 years. I can’t believe that I am 50 years old…but yes…I am. My family and the family at large (church) gave me a shocking surprise in that day. I was very moved by the love both families had shown. My boys (Ben and Dan) created a photo album of my life journey and my wife gifted a very precious gift. That evening the church gathered together and celebrated in a way beyond all my expectations and dreams. This day is going to be one of those day that I will always treasure and hold very precious.
Few days later I began to do a self-introspection and I asked myself have I grown enough? I discovered that there are areas I have to grow more in order to move into all that God has designed for me. In that process I learnt a very interesting fact that there’s a difference between getting older and growing up. Both are a process, but growth requires the ability to be introspective, self-evaluate, strive for self-improvement and make bold changes wherever it is necessary even if it is difficult – not easy things for people to do. If I am not willing to do it I will produce the same results that I had always brought forth.
Why some people don’t grow up even though they are getting older? There are 5 primary reasons why people don’t grow up.
Lack of self-awareness
Some are not able to see themselves clearly – their behaviours and responses. Their problem is always others. They are not fulfilled in life. You can’t change what you don’t acknowledge. Change has to happen more in self than others. When you want to build a bridge to take you anywhere, you have to first know where to build it. Look deep within.
Some are stubborn to their beliefs and unreceptive to other’s ideas. They have a tunneled vision and show resistance to any thing that is foreign to them. Fear and ignorance are at the root of closed-mindedness. Open up your life. Be honest. Find someone in whom you can confide and share your fears and acknowledge your ignorance. It will open some closed doors for your growth.
Some believe that there must be a perfect situation for growth. Since they cannot find such a situation they will always find problem everywhere. People who don’t grow often view themselves as victims of circumstance. People who grow, choose to learn from the circumstances they are presented with. The hardest situations and the most painful experiences are accepted as God’s way of growth.
Some weeds produce chemicals that stunt the plant’s growth. We all benefit – or suffer – from our associations with others. Flowers, people, and brains flourish in enriched environments. As you respect all people around you place yourself in environments that are conducive to your growth. Choose the company of nutritious people who have a growth mindset to enrich your life and help you grow.
Tendency to turn back
Some always think of going back and be where they are comfortable. They do not want to face challenges and adventures. They have neophobia – fear of new things. They like sameness not newness. For growth one must tread on new grounds and venture out by faith in God. Keep moving ahead. Never turn back. Remember what Abraham Lincoln said, “I may be a slow walker but I never turn back…”
Today we keep hearing every day in our communities of shootings, suicides, rage, brutal killings, inhuman treatments and so on. These are signs of a new epidemic of this age – failure to grow up. Lack of growth in reflected in their frustration by hating or killing themselves or others. Growth reflects in growing in love with God and with others.
Growth is very essential for life. Growth is an indication of maturity. In order to make the world better people have to grow up and be mature. You don’t make a choice to grow older but you make a choice to grow up. If we don’t grow up we end up hurting others and will live a self-pity life.